go to list of
articlesI found this great article by Alexis Martin Neely and decided
to pass it on just as it is.
How to Choose the Right
Guardian for Your Children - Just in Case
By Alexis Martin Neely
Nobody wants to think about the worse befalling their family. But if you
want what's best for your children, you would be wise to choose a guardian
to take care of your little ones, should any unplanned tragedies happen.
It's not easy to think of anyone else raising your children, no matter how
loving your family members or friends are. But by taking a few moments to
appoint the best guardian possible, you could possibly make a tremendous
difference in your child's life.
Consider these three steps.
Step One: Make a List of Possible Guardians
Make the longest list you can stand of everyone you know who might possibly
be a good guardian. When considering whether someone should be on the list,
ask yourself, "Would they provide a better home for my children than the
foster care system?"
If the answer is yes, include them.
Step Two: Decide What Matters Most
Choose a few factors that are most important to you and rank their order of
priority. Here are some factors to consider:
· Maturity and patience
· Do they have children already?
· Religion or spirituality
· Relationship with your children
· Integrity and stability
· Marital or family status
· Willingness to serve
· Physical well-being
· Social and moral habits and values
· Availability of free time to raise your children
· Parenting style
Your perfect guardian choice would score high on every measure.
Because we all have different values, you may want to focus on a few
characteristics that are most important to you. As you create your
shortlist of possible guardians, consider that some factors can be
influenced by you and others cannot. For example, a person's integrity is
something you cannot change.
But if having an at-home parent is important to you, your prospective
guardian might be willing to stay at home to raise your child if you make it
possible through a well-structured and funded plan.
Do not put too much emphasis on financial resources as a factor. It is your
responsibility as the parent to provide enough financial resources, either
through insurance or savings, to take care of your children financially.
Step Three: Match People to Priorities
Use the factors you chose in step two to narrow your list of candidates to a
handful. As you consider each person or couple as guardian, listen to your
body and feelings. Using this shortlist, you will need to rank the people
you would want first, second, and so on.
In doing your estate planning, you will want to work with an attorney
experienced in helping parents of minor children. When you name a couple as
a guardian, your lawyer will likely ask you the following question: "If the
couple divorces or, because of death or incapacity, only one can serve,
would you like either one to be guardian, or would you prefer to move to the
next name on the list?"
Regardless of which spouse's family or friends appear more frequently on
your final list, it's important to keep both families involved. One way to
do that is to name members of one family as guardians to care for the
children, and members of the other family as trustees, to manage the assets
for the children. If there is a likelihood of conflict between these family
members, be sure to share this with your attorney so that your guardianship
can be customized to encourage them to keep the lines of communication open.
Again, I know it's not easy to think of anyone else raising your children.
But your children depend on you for a bright future. Start planning ahead
now.
Initiate the estate planning process. Most importantly, choose the right
guardian for your children now.